So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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