He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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