were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
