bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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