Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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