GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
