A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't deserve a penis
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I touched a dick in church today
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
