so explain again why im purple
no
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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