You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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