he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
