She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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