You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
