see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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