Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
