I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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