theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize