new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize