You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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