I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
