Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
