So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
one two three fourrrrnication!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
