D3 body, D1 cock
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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