You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
