"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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