Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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