Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
