Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
