i just google imaged poop.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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