i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
