Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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