my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
