then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
