The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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