So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
