he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
