I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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