um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
