She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
