Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
