At least make sure they are 18
Why
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
