walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
