so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
