what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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