This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
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Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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