He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
