420 ftw
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
