3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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