the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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