This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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