I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
