PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
