D3 body, D1 cock
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
