please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
