HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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