they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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