Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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