Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think my moral compass just broke
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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