i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
