well you can't waste a boner
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
