Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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