im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
