I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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